I wanted to meet him face to face more than anything, but I was never sure how he felt about the situation. Two years ago, on December 22, I asked Jesse to come visit me for Christmas. I was going to be in a play that my grandmother’s church put on every year, and wanted him to be there. ‘I’m going to be Santa’s helper in this year’s play.’ I told Jesse that night on the phone, ‘It would be nice if you could make it up here to see it.’ I wanted more than anything for Jesse to come visit. My body ached and yearned to feel his touch, to taste him, and so much more. I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity, we were both out of school for Christmas break. ‘I will try my best Heather, but I am not making any promises that I can’t keep.’ Jesse’s voice sounded faint, almost a whisper. ‘OK…’ I felt like I was pressuring him by the sound of his voice, but I just sighed and said, ‘Well…my play starts at 6:00 pm on the 24th…just in case you could make it.’ With that I hung up the. As Valentine's Day approached, Corey dressed more and more inandrogynous clothing, having now purchased girl's jeans which rode loweron his hips and helped him to move his body in a more feminine fashion.Instead of boy's sneakers, he now wore girl's sneakers, usually whitewith a splash of color in them so they were not too attention getting. With his long hair flowing freely and his narrow shoulders and femininestride, he appeared from the back the teenage girl he was striving tobe. He used a very natural shade of lipstick, used light rouge tobrighten his cheeks and just a hint of eyeliner. He had had his earspierced and now wore, in the style of many boys, a light earring in onelobe. Technically, he was still a boy and used the boys' rooms andcontinued in boys' gym classes.He was often mistaken for a girl, by other students, by clerks in storesand people on the street. Corey admitted to himself that he wasbeginning to enjoy the attention."Fag, sissy clothes, that's what I'd call.
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