‘And stretching my legs could do me good. Get the creative juices flowing.’ ‘It’s a bad excuse for a break,’ said Naomichi. ‘But I guess I can’t force you to work. Just make sure it’s done by the end of the week. And get some ink too, I don’t think what we have will be enough for this one.’ Terry knew he shouldn’t resent Naomichi. It was only because of him that Terry could stay in Japan, and it was only because of him and his job (usher at a movie theatre) that they made rent and food every month. Terry, on the other hand, was practically a charity case. But with the tight quarters and tight deadlines bickering and resentment sprung up like weeds. After descending several floors of his apartment building, deciding to take the stairs rather than the temperamental elevator, Terry burst out into the the sunny, crowded street. He was used to the stares that came with being a blonde-haired white guy in Japan, as well as the bubble of space around him on even the most crowded subway car.. "But make no mistake whatsoever: I am going to enjoy this. I am going to use you to sate my urges. I am going to derive immense pleasure from tormenting you, humiliating you, breaking you and yes, especially from mutilating your beautiful body."Somehow, though I assumed these things to be true before I ever even met the man, hearing them stated out loud breaks me once again. Tears run from my eyes and I am forced to look away, nodding despondently to indicate my understanding, too choked up to speak. To suspect that you are giving yourself up to monstrosity is one thing, but to know it and to be told it is another. Still feeling weak and shaky from my introduction to Grigorii a few minutes earlier, my mental state remains fragile. Even while I become more and more convinced that I will endure and survive these things he does to me, I also become more aware of what it will cost me. I have pledged to pay the price, whatever it is, yet I still shed tears for those parts of my humanity,.
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