It was infuriating how obvious it was that I should just suck it up andstay this way. And why the hell shouldn't I?Who would miss me if Alison just... disappeared? A sprinkle of friendsfrom my old town? Two or three cousins I hadn't seen in over five years?Nobody... Nobody else.My pulse rate started to fall. I opened my fist, palm up, fingersslightly curled, so the ring was in view again.It was so damn obvious what I should do.But that kind of worried me.Because if I kept it on now and never took it off then, I guessed, thelast traces of my female persona would slip away. The envelopes in thehallway; the make-up in the bathroom; everything that recorded who I was.My entire identity as Alison would be eradicated from existence. Even Imight not remember it as time went by.Identity death: that was what it was. And it would be my own hand,literally, that was doing it.Surely I'd be happier. Surely I would. It was early days still reallywith Sangeeta, but she was a remarkable woman who. Meanwhile, Marie was alternating between facing me and making small-talk and facing away from the camera and talking about the guys watching her. It was rather bizarre to listen to."Did I tell you? Kara (her sister) and Robert (the husband) are heading to St. Thomas next week? They're gonna be there the whole week. How do I look? Do you think they're still watching? They rented this little cottage right by the beach. I'm so jealous."Without warning, Marie hooked her thumbs inside her waistband and pulled her panties down to mid-thigh. She then bent at the waist as she dragged the panties down her legs and stepped out of them. Marie stood up straight again and dropped the panties into her pile of clothes on the bed. And just like that she was completely naked, standing sideways in front of the camera. I felt a rush of something. Perhaps it was anxiety or arousal. Whatever it was it caused a slight shiver as it passed through me. I was just lying there watching Marie and thinking about.
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