Men like him only know what they want, what they feel entitled to take and to use. They do not know rejection, certainly not from someone like me, who has nothing they give any weight to or measure. Do it, I think. Squeeze. I want him to give me something to hate him for, something that will stamp out this need for his presence, his touch—his love. I challenge him with my eyes and set my lips in defiance. I want him to handle me wrong or say the wrong thing just once. That kind of anger I can identify with, I’m used to defending myself. I’m used to that type of pain and what it brings. I’m used to fighting to separate myself from it so that I can survive. My body goes rigid as I prepare to strike back. “What do you want?” His words are thick and move across my lips as he lingers there searching my face. Something unexplainable wells up inside of me like a ball and I begin to feel as if I cannot breathe. It is not the pressure from his hand; he has yet to apply any. His hand just sits. There were signs posted to 'Drive slow - loose gravel". It was like driving down a well kept gravel lane, a little rough but level, and no pot holes.The door to the office had hardly closed before both Shirley Short from HR and the head of IT came in. The IT guy said, "I don't know what you said or did but there has been a mass deletion of files and folders last night and most of the morning." Maybe I put the fear of God in them," I said laughingly. "I still want you to pick up those computers on the list and check all of them."Shirley said, "So far your tactics have worked. I went to get coffee at the cafeteria this morning and she was sitting by herself for the first time in a while. So was Rodney Cotter on the other side of the cafeteria." I am glad to hear that. All my girls are going to listen closely to the rumor mill for the next week or two, you do the same thing," I said.The town's roads manager stopped by just before lunch, "The fix is holding up a lot better than I thought.
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