Of course her leaning was much more subtle than mine but it was my ideas she was using. I existed all right.'As she pulls out a tissue and dabs at her eyes, I glance at my watch.'Get your coat, it's curtain up at 7:30; we need to get a move on.'She picks up her coat and I help her put it on. On the way out of The Savoy the concierge offers to call a taxi for us but I decline. On a dry night like this, the best way from The Savoy to the other side of Covent Garden is to walk. We set off back across The Strand. She takes my hand as we cross the road and is reluctant to let go. Realising she won't keep up my normal pace in her high heels I restrict myself to a leisurely stroll.'I was worried that you'd never be able to do this: walking like this I mean.''You and me both. I should've believed the doctors.''Why did you hide that from me? I was devastated when I found out you were in a wheelchair. It really hurt to know you would rather depend on strangers than me.''I didn't want you. Lying before my eyes were objects I'd long forgotten, things I thought I would never see again. In amongst them I saw the glint of silver. I reached for it, pushing aside packets of Rizla papers, a baggie of ancient hash, a couple of neatly folded wraps of cocaine, the still full half pint bottle bottle of amyl nitrate, postcards, several lesbian porn magazines and a couple of cheaply printed S&M novels. There were the doomed dildos, from my decision making masturbation session, there was the note from Em, where she wrote - Payment no longer required, Margaret x. I had long ago assumed the Police had helped themselves to these very private belongings while they were hunting for me."When you went on the run ... I wanted to help you, you see, I wanted to make sure there was nothing that could give the police any more ammunition. As soon as I managed to get myself untied, I drove straight down to London ... perhaps I thought I might find you, catch you before the police did ... I knew.
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