' "I never looked forward to going there, but there were some times when I did look forward to some of the men. I never fantasized about any of them, and I certainly don't miss any of them. But I do have to say that I did enjoy some of what I did up there. You have to understand some of those men are skillful lovers, and I do enjoy sex. That doesn't mean I didn't miss it with my husband or would ever cheat on him. This is very important to me. He has to accept that didn't cheat on him, that I was doing this for him. I think it was noble and..."Jenny realized that she was crying, tears running down her cheek. Dr. Gardner handed her a tissue and then said, "continue."Jenny took a deep breath and said, "He was never supposed to know. I wouldn't have done it if I thought he would find out, but I'm not sorry. I owed him and I wanted him back still a man. If someone had to take it up the ass, I didn't want it to be him. I would have done almost anything to protect him. I don't know why he. Iopened my eyes not realizing that I had closed them and saw myselfslumped at the shoulders and standing on my toes. An instant picture ofMildred seeing me standing in that awful posture flashed through my mindgave me a shiver. That insight also reminded me that she would be backany minute and if she discovered me like this...well that reaction Icould do without so I went as quickly as I could back to the tub, got inand placed the hand towel back behind my head. No sooner than I wassettled back under the foaming bubbles than she walked back in. "Can you sit up a little darling? I've brought you a cup of tea. Yousoak for a little longer while I get you something fresh to wear. I'mafraid that I had to throw your other clothing away. It was such a messthere was no saving it," she said handing me the cup.I admit the tea was good and it washed the bile back down into mystomach. Her departure gave me a few more minutes to assess mysituation. The intense pain in my back and.
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