His guilt was also growing."Colonel, there is nothing for you to feel guilty about. Not a thing. I agreed to do this. Lt. Bakr and his general will make it back, and if at all possible so will I."I projected back along the link as much positive feeling as I could find within myself. It wasn't much but I think it helped."I'll take care of it." He said."Thank you Colonel."The insertion went off without a hitch, just as planned. The Blackhawk set us down twenty five miles inside the Iraqi border. We hiked to our final destination, about ten miles from the Landing Zone and dug in before it got light out. Under cover and wearing ghillie suits, Lt. Bakr and I waited out the daylight hours observing the movements and numbers of the Iraqi position.They were a mix of infantry, four 122-mm. M-1974 (2S1) Self-Propelled Howitzers and a couple of, what looked to me like, BMP-2 Infantry Fighting Vehicles, as well as a couple of covered flatbed trucks and three small quarter ton pickup trucks. We. Finally, as we were heading for the ocean for a quick swim before the sun rose too high, she put her hand on my shoulder and kissed me slowly. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know I'm not very good... I've only ever had two lovers, and neither of them were so..." She trailed off.I couldn't take it any more. "No, no Kate," I said, gripping her gently yet firmly by the shoulders and looking into her eyes. "It's not you. You're fantastic, the best girl I've had in... Hell, in my whole life! You're great, and you're trying so hard to please me. It's not you, it's me." As this cliché slipped out, I inwardly cursed myself for being so chicken-shit. But I still wasn't ready to admit what the real problem was.She looked back up at me, her hair wild, her eyes filled with tears, and I couldn't help loving her, her petite form which made me feel strong, her soft yielding flesh which I could feel pressing against me. And I hated myself for loving her and yet not loving her. But she saw.
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