There was no hesitancy as he moved to her and almost tenderly took her in his arms. Cassandra thought she could hold it together, but she was mistaken. Before they moved much farther into the parlor James’ shirt was damp with tears.At that point Sarah announced that it was best that she leave them to their reunion. Pamela watched James walk her out to his truck. He had his arm around her waist as he held her close. The rain had stopped.Neither Sarah nor James said anything until they reached the truck. “You won’t change your mind?”She turned and touched his face. “This time is for your mother and sister.”He nodded and put his arms around her waist. “Yes, but all of a sudden I feel like I haven’t had enough time with you.”Damn, when he says things like that and looks at me that way I just want to grab hold and never let go.“Call me tomorrow after work.” Damn, damn, he just got that happy puppy look that I can’t resist. “Cassandra has my cell number.”“Maybe dinner?”She smiled. A date?. If I drank often enough, I’d become and alcoholic. If I did try cocaine or heroine, I’d probably be hooked. I’ve cheated so much and lied so much about it that I can’t stop lying. Even while I’m doing it, I think to myself that I want to STOP, and I can’t even stop because I’m so mired down in it all that I couldn’t climb back up, no matter how much I want to. I’m spontaneous to the extreme, and that makes it all worse. I know where to go to get what I want, but if I can’t get it there, I keep going. I keep pushing and asking and looking until I find someone who will give it to me. I might be looking for the kind of satisfaction that doesn’t even satisfy ME, it just makes me feel better to get all of that energy out of my system and pump it into somebody else. It’s funny because growing up, the one thing I said I would NEVER do was be like my Daddy. Then when I grew up, I found out I was nearly as crazy as he was. You know what I did last week? I got back home with my husband..
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