He could feel the sadness and tension leave him as reality set in. They were both here, safe from harm. He couldnt speak, he couldnt describe the anguish he felt after such a vivid and awful dream. All Jacob could do was hold her tight and never let go. He had to cherish every moment, had to breathe all of her in. He kept his eyes open, afraid that if he closed them that it would turn out this was in fact the dream and that her dying in his arms was real. They stayed like that for nearly an hour. Finally Jacob felt at ease enough to let her go. So, you gonna tell me what your bad dream was about? She asked, although she could guess. Trust me, you dont want to know. Probably not&hellip, We should get ready, were meeting Janie for dinner. He told her. As they dressed there was a tap at the door. Jacobss heart pounded, he went into panic mode. Get your cell phone. Go lock yourself in the bathroom. He whispered as he went to open the door. Jacob, dont you think youre overreacting?. I had been so busy with work in those months, setting up my new firm, burning the candle. Still, I should have noticed that she wasn't acting her old self."I don't want to hear your excuses. It just happened. Bullshit. Maybe, if you had come to me, we could have prevented it."Who knows if that was true or not? Would I have listened to her? Really listened to her concerns and taken them seriously? I was so busy then, and frankly have never been a great listener. If she had come to me right away, would I have gotten us in to see a professional? Given the way I am, or was, almost certainly not. I would have given her lip-service reassurance, I suppose. Tried to explain away her concerns: we're going through a change; new house, new baby, new city new business for me, and new career as a mommy for you. Still, she didn't let me in until it was too late by far.I didn't want to listen to her reasons.I know she had to have felt lonely, vulnerable, alone. Still, it was no excuse; she should.
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