I was happy and I couldn’t tell why. My step picked up a little as trumpets blared into my ears and I could feel the vibrations from it in my chest. ‘If you just press your fingers down under my skin/Lift up, dig up, lift up, dig up and bleed for me/I say, I’ll bleed if you ask me/I’ll bleed if you ask me/That’s when, that’s when, he said no/What’s the business, yeah/Don’t take my life away/Don’t take my life away.’ Once again the music faded away. I was more than halfway there and I was so ready for the next song, ready to see how perfectly my night would continue. As if it had read my mind my iPod sent me a song that sort of signified the end of my expedition, I listened as Bon Iver plucked her guitar strings and began to sing a much slower and calmer melody than the previous two tunes. ‘Travelling north, travelling north to find you/Train wheels beating, the wind in my eyes/Don’t even know what I’ll find when I get to you/Call out your name love, don’t be surprised.’ I turned a. Not exactly shy, but no way assertive. I sensed early in our relationship that to ask her to do something she didn't want to do would violate something within her she valued deeply, her innate sense of tidyness, or neatness. It wouldn't have been nice. She might have accommodated me, but it wouldn't have been fair. It would have been taking advantage of her good nature.So our sex life leveled down to what she liked, and that wasn't much. It was pretty tame. She didn't care for oral sex, or anal sex, or most of the time any sex at all. She liked to cuddle, and to kiss gently, and she liked me to stroke her hair, and just hold her. After lights out, when other couples turned to fulfill each others' desires, she liked to settle down and just "make nice." I think she decided to marry me because I was so considerate, never insisting we make love all the way, settling most of the time for gentle caressing. She seemed to want full scale sex with me only occasionally, to recharge some.
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