. Yes, ma’am, this IS the maternity hospital, but no. We don’t have any return policy.How can you tell if your gas station attendant used to be a porn star?When the gas starts coming out, he pulls out the nozzle, and sprays it on the windshield... You think of pirates as being all smiley. Actually, they’re all Somali... I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got run over.Inside a Russian woman, there’s another Russian woman.I was in the park the other day, watching a man feed the birds. After a while, I said to myself, “I wonder how long he’s been dead”.I have a friend who keeps ingesting helium. You should try it ... people speak very highly... Dear Hallmark:Roses are red, Violets are blue.Your cards are shit And your channel is, too.And the award for film of the year goes to: Cling.Cling Film.The difference between a nurse and a patient? Well, the nurse actually has a higher chance of leaving the hospital aliveלייקAnd so, 101 Dalmatians all fell asleep. Oh, wait, they’re ordinary. I made a plan then to have the steak and a beer with them then split. Funny thing though I got sidetracked. Deacon started telling his tales and singing his song, even more amazing Selma matched him story for story. They talked about WWII. Deacon told his OSS stories and Selma told her Pacific war nurse stories. She had been Twenty one in 1943 so I calculated her age to be 46 or 47. She seemed way to old for me, but the more I listened to she and Uncle Deacon talk, the younger she got.The lights were low enough so that when I danced with her the only tip to her age was the softness of her breasts. I found out that she was married and I tensed. In 1967 it seemed wrong to be dancing with a married woman. Then I learned her husband was in a nursing home, early alzheimer she said. We danced and drank Uncle Deacon's liquor till almost midnight. I hadn't noticed that the two women drank almost nothing, while the Deacon and I got plastered.At midnight we staggered to the parking lot. Tommie.
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