Or doth I protest too much? Perhaps why I was doing it didn’t matter. But how was a problem. I had to come up with something really good, an excuse that would be compelling to him. I thought about our last encounter and realized I had probably hurt his feelings. Maybe I had all three times I treated him badly. I started to feel a little remorse. I didn’t recall ever feeling remorse before, but I could use that. There was no story I could come up with that seemed even remotely acceptable so I decided I would need to do the most humiliating thing of all: be honest with him again. ‘So I’m really sorry I made you feel bad. The worst part for me is that I don’t know for sure why I did it. I think I’m afraid of you.’ That was true. ‘I think I’m afraid I could have really strong feelings for you.’ That was baseless speculation. I got no response from him. Again, I needed to do more. ‘It’s just, I’m afraid, learning new things from somebody so young. You’re not the usual kind of guy I go out. "What did you tell John?" When I told her I had just suggested she'd like to hear from him, she said "Okay," and hung up. A while later she called from work. "I'll be home late. My boss has some extra work for me." I was very turned on after hearing this. I swallowed hard and panted around a lot, trying not to stroke myself too much. Was she really going to be at work, or was she going to see John? Julie got home late. I remember because it was during the Major League Baseball all-star game that year. She rushed around, took a shower and got in some tight blue jeans and sexy cowboy boots. I followed her around ignoring the baseball game. She told me John had called her back after she called me and suggested they have lunch together. She said "Let's make it dinner," and tonight was the night! I still remember the far away look in her eye and her far away smile while she put in earrings and briefed me on her plans with John. She was going out with an old flame. Thrilling for her, but.
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