I finally pulled in at my small; one bedroom apartment entered the door. I sighed at the emptiness of the apartment and of my life. I headed straight for the computer as always. Time to check the old E-mail, lots of the usual stuff, a few TG-alerts, a couple of new stories, Vickie Tern's Chat Log.Everything seemed normal. Until I hit the 3pm entry. It was from Mindy. The heading was "Don't read Story 2000!" after that, nothing. I quickly double clicked the icon, but the rest of the letter was completely trashed.I didn't know what was going on, but it just wasn't normal. I tried to E-mail Steve Zink, but it got bounced -- user unknown. I started getting really worried. I had made a few good friends over the past couple of months, and I hoped nothing bad had happened.I hit the Favorites and brought up Fictionmania Hyperboard. Only a few posts all day, the last thread titled, "Where Is Everybody?" I checked the chat stats. No one. I brought up the stories in the last two days. Six had. ”“I don’t see how that’s different.”“It is. If you had loved Becky, then it might be different. But you didn’t and you don’t. She had to make a decision, and she probably made the right one. You’ll have plenty of time to have babies that you want to make.”She was sounding more and more like Stephanie, who had told me I’d have kids with Jennifer.“That doesn’t make it easier,” I sighed.“No, but stop blaming yourself. She tricked you, then she decided what to do for her own reasons. You won’t get over it until you stop blaming yourself. And quit being selfish and thinking only of yourself!”She was right. I was blaming myself. I had admitted to myself that Becky might have made the same decision if I was home, but she also might have ruined her life by doing what I wanted. And because I didn’t love Becky, I didn’t care how badly her life turned out if she’d had the baby. I had wanted that baby, I would have loved that baby completely, and she took him, and the love I would have had for.
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