Sorry. That wasn’t very fair. Some kinda man I turned out to be. Just a 58 year-old has-been without a future. Fuck, all married people lose a spouse. Eventually. Some sooner than others. Most everybody else seems to be able to cope. What’s wrong with me? God but it hurts. I glance up at the sky. Huge, dark cumulus clouds block the sun and promise yet another day of relentless rain. The ducks don’t mind at all but the threatening weather just adds to my despair. How fitting. Gun-metal gray day. Wish I had a gun. Well, fine then. Let it rain. Forever. I don’t give a rat’s ass. Something to wash away the tears so no-one will notice. But it won’t take away the fucking cold. It’s too damn fucking cold for September. Even the weather is against me. Thanks, God. That’s really kind of you! Fuck it. At what stage of grief am I right now? What did I read about that once? Oh yeah, five stages… something about denial, then followed by anger. I guess I’m at anger. Mad at me. Mad at Peg. Mad at. She’s tall around 5’6 and in great shape for her age with amazing long shapely legs, incredible peachy ass and the most mouth watering perfect sized tits. But even as sexy as all that sounds for me the most gorgeous thing about Gwen was her short silver hair which drives me crazy and her wrinkled face which she tried to cover up with heavy makeup which never fails to send me over the edge complete with lots of perfume.The minute I first clapped eyes on Gwen I just knew there and then that I had to fuck her and I spent the next 2 years befriending her and her husband in order to gain her trust and eventually win her over. I would frequently call in on both of them asking if they were ok and if they needed anything from the supermarket or if any heavy jobs needed doing around the bungalow like putting their bins out or cutting their grass etc as both Gwen and her husband’s 2 adult c***dren lived overseas in Canada and New Zealand and were basically on their own. After a few months went.
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