If I sought counseling for my ‘problem.’ “Look, I’ve always been a sexual girl,” I had told his best friend Dave. “And I was high on ecstasy for god’s sake. I mean what did you expect was going to happen? I was so fucking horny!” Dave had just looked at me like I was a total trash bag. “Kylie, it’s one thing to have fucked around in college. But seriously… at your fiancé’s own bachelor party? How could you have done it?” Now, standing in front of the makeshift classroom at The Belleview Retreat for Sexual Health, I tried to stay calm. This was sex rehab. It was a place meant for us to share our stories, and hopefully find some kind of resolution. While Justin thought I was away for six weeks visiting family in Australia before our wedding, I was really going to be trapped in group therapy treatment. I glanced at the faces of the other people seated in the circle surrounding me. Some seemed friendly, some seemed distracted, and others just seemed downright cynical. I looked towards. Just the fact you’re safe and that I got to see your angelic face one last time is more than enough reward. I…I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you have any second thoughts then you have a way out, I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do.’ She gazed equally deeply into my eyes and whispered ‘Emrys, you’ve been so kind to me. I know that if I leave now then I’ll never find another guy sweeter and more caring than you. For the first time I fell a boy loves me for my being, not my body. I won’t leave, I’ll stay with you for as long as I can. I…I’ her voice trailed to a barely perceptible mumble ‘I think I love you too.’ One solitary tear squeezed from her eye and rolled down her cheek. I gently brushed it off with my finger and then wiped it on the bridge of my nose, letting it run down my cheek instead. I guess it was symbolic, like me taking all her fears and worries from her into me where I could lock them away so they’d never hurt her…ever. A sudden surge of.
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