I told her I could, and I’d be happy to set it up.“Can you kick my ass first though before you do, Sir? I really feel ashamed of what I did with your dad. Does it bother you, Master?” Betty asked submissively. She had started calling me Sir and Master in general conversation now.“Not yet. I think it will kick in when I get home,” I told her.“Master Justin I need you to be angry about it. Even if you have to pretend. I don’t normally regret or feel bad about anything I do. I hate this feeling. I feel like I betrayed you and fucked up your life. I really need you to beat the shit out of me and call me Cunt or Bitch from now on. If you don’t it is just going to eat away at me,” she said.I agreed although I wasn’t sure I could muster up that kind of anger. I was just too easy going of a guy, and I really hadn’t processed what happened. If my dad fucked her, then that was on him for betraying my mom. Betty didn’t put a gun to his head. My mom had an epic meltdown at the end of the day. I. I will always regret that I lacked the willpower to stick it out until now, but I won’t regret my love for her, nor my marriage to you. I regret that the context makes it wrong for me and painful for you. May God forgive me for my weakness of character, my admittedly very human weakness, yet one that caused you pain despite my desire to avoid that.Whatever you did or didn’t do, I’m in no place to judge. Whatever you do from here on, do what you must to survive and don’t fret about me. I will be fine, guilty conscience aside. Do whatever you must to make your life bearable, as I will do henceforth as well. I’ve not hesitated to sin when it was necessary or difficult to escape, hoping that God will forgive and accept me in spite of my sins. I’ve eaten pork and that was wrong, but hardly my greatest offense to God. I have shaved my beard to make surgery more sanitary, though I kept my turban and haven’t cut my hair. I probably look more like a woman at a distance than a man.Please see it.
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