You may be hanging around with me because I’m pushy and you’re sympathetic.”“Pickles likes you. He’s an excellent judge of character.“Now, take me somewhere and feed me a steak.”“You like steak?”“A good one,” I said. “Kind of pricey – good ones, I mean. I’ve not had good luck where steak isn’t the feature of the place. And how we’re dressed...”He eyed me up and down. “Tell you what, I go back in, put on something a bit nicer, then we go to YOUR apartment, you upgrade YOUR outfit, then I take you to that place for a NICE steak...”“It’s gonna have to be a good steak to get me into a dress.”“It’s a good one.” He named the place.“I can’t afford that, Josh,” I said.“I can. For both of us. It’s a date, Gee. You’re not expected to pay your way. My treat.”That’ what happened. Delightful dinner. Late movie, in which I practically forced myself into his side for the cuddles I desired. Goodnight kisses at my apartment door without even a hint of ‘nightcaps’ or whatever other sleazy line some. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of the nuns at the Catholic hospital he had been taken to. A nun was seated at his bedside holding a pen and a clipboard with several forms on it. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment."Do you have insurance?" she asked.The man relied in a raspy voice, "Ain't got no health insurance."The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"The man replied, "Ain't got no money in the bank." Do you have a relative who can help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.The man said, "I only have a spinster sister and she is a nun."The nun became agitated and loudly announced, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God!"The man replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother in law."When the laughter died down I said, "Thank you and now for our first performer of the night. Bud Philbrick is an auto mechanic by.
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