Even if he were, in the shape I'm in down there I could not blame anyone from passing. So something good for Ken and basically nothing for me. Fingers just ain't doing it. Small talk afterwards leads me to understand how Ken needs it too. My last words to Ken were "What are friends for?" before going to my phone. I ring up Stacy and like all good looking, fit and sexy gals, she is doing laundry on a Saturday night. Her first thought was about coming over Sunday morning to play with the baby. My thoughts were more immediate. I told her I'm still on the sidelines and asked her if she would like to service Ken. Silence. "Are you for real?" she asks. I say yup and tell her to come over and she can play with the baby all day Sunday. Still silent so I add "It's more fun than laundry." Stacy's reply was "I'll head over but we need to talk about this.". Before midnight we hear the back door open and a soft calling. We both reply. Stacy finds us both in bed. I slide over. It was just the way things were between us, but that all changed the night he proposed,” I said dropping my gaze to my lap.“He wasn’t your first because we’ve had that conversation and you didn’t mention him at all during that conversation,” Marcus said during my pause with a look of confusion and concern.“I know. I didn’t what to talk about him then and I was never planning on talking about him ever,” I said turning my eyes to his.I could see that this hurt him a little, but that was something to discuss later. If I was to tell him about Jorden it was all or never. I took another deep breath, steeled myself and began to remember all the details of that night that I kept so tightly sealed away.I closed my eyes again, so I didn’t have to see Marcus’s face, and I was back with Jorden. The rush of sorrow, pain and loss almost stopped me, but Marcus took my hand and said, “You can do this, I will love you no matter what you tell me,” and with that statement, I began to remember it.
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