When there was a sharp knock on the door to our suite we both assumed it was only Marilyn arriving a little early for our planned excursion to the cocktail reception being thrown by one of the local company's wealthy backers. To the tax collectors financial contributions to local opera were simply a charitable exemption; to the major contributors, however, they represented an entrée into a cultural milieu to which they otherwise couldn't aspire. Camilla's presence would grace their gathering, even my own but a little less (since I was singing a lead), and both had been "earnestly requested" by the company's managers.As soon as she opened the door, though, Camilla was urgently calling me. Hearing her tone, I was beside her in seconds. And I saw immediately the reason for her concern; standing there were two men dressed in (as my newly acquired fashion sense told me—we'd gone shopping the day before, and I'd learned a lot about the quality of clothing) ordinary off-the-rack suits and. So while I wasn't dressing,I was creating carefully thought out personas of sexy, submissivesissies, stealing photos from other websites, passing them off asmyself, and chatting late into the night with dominant males who wouldcall me their "sissy cumslut" or their "prancing little fag." Everyhumiliating name turned me on more and more. I learned to address themas "sir."Still, in reality I was a fairly masculine guy. Tall and broadshouldered, I could grow a fairly impressive beard in just over week andas I got older I found myself with more chest hair and back hair than Iever wanted. Every time I ended a night of chat sessions, I felt thesame emptiness and shame I'd felt earlier in life.My junior year in college, I'd gone three years without wearing anywomen's clothing (even if I dreamed and fantasized about it constantly),and found myself dating an amazingly attractive girl I'd met in one ofmy engineering classes. Best of all, she loved wearing short skirts andnylons, often paired.
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