She's always asking me, "Butwhy did you give up science when you were so good at it?" But I don'tthink I was good at it, not really. It just always felt like I knew italready. Maths, physics, chemistry just always seemed obvious and easy.Like, I know all that so what's the point? So I've switched to doingmodern languages and literature and history and stuff. And I don't knowwhat the difference is but that stuff is actually hard. It doesn't feellike it's there already. I do actually have to work to get it. I don'tget only 'A's any more and that's, well, that's all right. I don't feellike such a swot all the time.There's a lot of old pictures of me here. Here's one of me before aschool dance, all dressed up, too much make-up. I never manage thatright. I never think about it usually and then it's a special occasionand I just slap it on.Greg's with me, so I must be almost fourteen. He looks dazed. I look abit bored. I want to get going. I think I enjoyed it. I danced withevery boy I. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office typesoh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.Stuggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the.
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