Sure, I was naked at home, and maybe sort of naked in my dreams, but now this was someone our family had known for a while. I ran upstairs to the bathroom to make sure it was no dream. No it wasn’t, it was my own reflection in the mirror.“NADIA! Are you ready?” My mom shouted.“Yes.” I shouted back.I took one last look at myself in the mirror and told myself, Come on girl, you can do this.I went downstairs and my mom grabbed my hand and walked the two doors down to Clifford’s. I was actually naked in public, which made it hard to hide my fear from my mom. The closer I got to Clifford’s, the more my fear level would rise.“Are you ok honey? you look kind of scared.”Damn her! She knows so I admitted to her I was.“Well this is what you wanted, right? Being naked were everyone can see you?”I had to say yes to her statement.“You are not going to back out, because Cliff was expecting a great surprise today.”Oh, she already told him! I began to shake as we arrived at his door. We walked right. And maybe I'm exaggerating about that, but I can see them together in my head and it's making me angry again. But I plaster a smile on my face and make all the right sounds.Because she's Carly, and she deserves happiness. And I'm Sam Puckett, and I don't deserve her. And I push everything into a hard little ball that sits in my gut like a ball bearing and I be her friend. Finally she shuts up about him, and I can start breathing again and let my lips relax. She starts playing with my hair and I worry. She's been quiet too long now, and Carly likes to ramble, I mean sometimes you just cannot get the girl to shut up, so it's never a good sign when she's quiet. It means she's thinking, and nothing good ever came out of people thinking."Sam...." Her voice is slow, hesitant and I turn to look at her.Her eyes are on my face, all big and dark, and she's chewing her lip, looking concerned. I feel that hard little ball bearing tremble and heat up, start to expand, but I shove it back.
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