We spent a delightful few minutes not the least bit self-conscious about possible morning breath when the phone by the bedside erupted into noise. I looked at the red glowing digits announcing 4:45 and mumbled, "Some complete idiot left a 4:45 wake-up call."Lauren grinned and said, "Yes, good thing that guy's nowhere in sight just now."I answered the phone, which was not even a real human being but a recorded voice courtesy of the hotel's automated phone system, and pushed '1' for "I'm awake, don't call again."She paused on her way into the bathroom, looked back me archly and said, "If we had more time and the fate of several lives weren't resting on what we do this morning, I'd invite you to come help me wash my back."I looked at her steadily. "The first time I put my hands on that naked back," I said, "it'll be when we have enough time that I can make it an experience you'll never forget."She shivered a bit, and looked wonderingly down at her arms, then raised one to me. "Look," she. ‘It’s to talk about you behind your back.’ replied Alison cheekily. The girls walked off giggling, and Mark turned to Dave and asked ‘How long have we been mountaineers exactly?’ Dave thought about this. ‘About ninety minutes. Ever since I stopped looking at Alison’s arse and remembered that climbing came in fourth on the FHM poll of sexiest sports. Anyway – We are climbers. We own rockshoes don’t we? I don’t know about you, but mine are about ready for retirement.’ ‘Oh yeah, and the upstairs room at Boulder UK, is exactly the same as Zero fucking gully. Where did you ever get that name from anyway?’ ‘From paying attention to what people are saying, even when they’re not saying it to me. What do you want me to say to these two? – That we’re a couple of plasterers from Bolton, pebble dashing your mother in law’s extension?’ ‘It would have the advantage of being true – Less detail to invent, and far less to be tripped up on.’ ‘True. And on the minus side, duller than dogshit, and.
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