I had taken my dog for a walk along the beach and was throwing a ball for him and taking in the sights of the beach as I walked. It was a hot August day and there were some lovely sights to see. My dog, Bonzo was bounding up and down the beach as I kicked or threw the ball for him to retrieve. Without looking I picked up the ball from the sand and threw it up and over my head only to turn to see it land near to a very attractive and very curvy female lying on her back on a towel in a red bikini. The ball landed with a thump and my dog, ran with gusto over to the ball flicking sand all over the lady. I quickly ran over apologetically and she looked up at me before lifting her sun glasses to see my face.“I’m really sorry!” I started. “It was entirely my fault.” Surprisingly the lady, who looked early 30s simply smiled. “Oh hi, you’re the guy that drives the taxi aren’t you?” That took me by surprise slightly as I looked at her and then cast my mind back to a few nights. "Fucking Hell, Andy," she said, pushing him frantically away from her, "We're only doing it on the grave of a fucking murderer!" "Aw Gem, not again," Andy complained, "All I want is a fuck!" "Well," said Gemma, pulling her knickers up, "You ain't getting it here!" "Gemmm," Andy whined. "It's no good, Andy, get me out of hear, before I go fucking mental." "Oh, all right," Andy conceded, "But I'll remember this the next time you want a shag." "If you don't get me out of here Andy," Gemma said firmly, "I swear there won't be a next time, not for you!" Reluctantly, Andy led Gemma back to the cemetery gates, still bemoaning his wasted investment and cursing his timorous girlfriend under his breath. Pulling an empty hand out of his trouser pocket he urgently searched the other. "Fuck it," he cursed, "I've lost my fucking car keys!" "Oh great," said Gemma, "Just fucking great. How the fuck am I going to get home?" "Call a taxi," said Andy uncharitably, "It might be your old man who turns.
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