I've told him it's my thing, my fantasy, my goal. To be absolutely understood.I think he's forgotten, or more likely he didn't understand how quickly mydirection can change. I leave my pie unfinished, my coffee cooling in the harshglare of safety and follow him out. As we cross I-5on our way to West Seattle I look at my reflection in the glass. The old me,the new me, is there a difference? I'm beginning to wonder, it seems foolish tothink in those terms now, sitting here with a stranger. I should have calledsomeone, gotten his address and left a message for my Dad, telling him whereI'd be just in case. That's the new me. The old me embraces the image of myfather pacing alone, wondering, waiting...Punished by my deliberate disregardfor his paternal instinct. Won't he be sorry? Oh yes, that old thought like afamiliar blanket wraps me up, keeps me warm. "How do youwant to play?" He keeps his eyeson the road. "What do you mean?" "I meanrules, I mean safe things." Online I have no limits,. . but she never liked to get into psychological explanations of the things that turned her on. It was enough that they did.* * *The last to arrive was Adriana, a good hour and a quarter late and dressed for action in tall boots, thigh-high stockings, a micromini skirt that showed off her wonderful ass, and a lace top that was more or less a bra. A big part of the reason she was late was that she had spent an hour and a half trying on different outfits before settling on this one; but she would not be wearing it for long.Jessica looked her up and down, and in a matter-of-fact voice said, “You must be Adriana.”“And you’re Jessica, right?”“The girls told you about me, I assume.”“That’s right.”“Did they mention how I feel about punctuality? About how disrespectful it is to waste other people’s time?”Adriana was nonplussed. This was not the welcome she had expected; it was a party after all, who showed up on time? She didn’t know what to say, and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway; Jessica.
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