. truly like a girl!"I took a deep breath and had to wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. Ifelt so relieved. The tension started to fall off and I felt my legsbecoming very soft. With a trembling hand I pointed to a small bench nextto the cabins. "I have to sit down for a moment. I..."Tanya noticed and instantly took my hand, and the two girls helped mereaching the bench. I smoothed the dress and sank down, exhaling."I am fine, don't worry... it's just... the relief. Kim was here a momentago, you know..." What? Kim? Our Kim? Kim Winthrop?" Tanya asked in disbelief."Are you okay, Ala... Alayna?" Sharon squeezed my hand. "If she..." ...no, don't worry, she... I guess, she didn't recognize me. She wantedto..." I swallowed. "To get to know me... and Joe..." Joe? Hartford? What has he got to do with it?" I didn't meet him but he saw me when they arrived at Deirdre's salon.He..." They were there? At McCormack's?" Yes, Debbie and Kim went inside while the rest of them stayed in thevan.... Angela laughed at my wonderment."Sometimes," she said, "It never happens at all. If I'm tired or if I feel low, there is nothing. But when I feel safe and loved, my Martin, then, poof! I am like a string of firecrackers, one explosion following another. But you must not mind if it doesn't go that way every time. Sometimes, I might want just to make you happy and that will be enough for me."I didn't really understand but claimed I did. It seemed the wisest thing to do.Angela drifted off to sleep. She seemed now to have adopted a particular position, head on my chest, one leg flung over me. I have to say I loved it. My mind wouldn't let me go, however. It was a roiling mass of thoughts and theories that echoed round and round in my over-tired brain. It was maddening, whenever I felt I just might be dropping off, this thought would re-emerge to the forefront of my consciousness like a line from a song that you can't get rid of. 'He's alive! He's got to be alive!' To this day, I have no.
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