Q: When lawyers die, why do vultures ignore them?A: Even a vulture has taste.Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in “that’s a shame”)?A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.Q: What is the definition of a “crying shame”?A: There were two empty seats.Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?A: An offer you can’t understand.Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?A: In the cemetery.Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?A: To practice.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.Q: What’s the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.Q: What’s the difference between lawyers and buzzards?A: Lawyers have removable wing tips.Q: What’s the definition of a lawyer?A: A mouth with a life support system.Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer. "Ok." I said. "Sandi and I have to go over seas for a year and Kate will be in charge while I'm gone. You will have money to buy food and clothes and whatever else you will need. You need to finish school, all of you. After we sell the house there will be enough money for you to go to collage Kate, you too Debbie. When I get back, I will finish school. Kate, you have a driver's license and I will get you a car so you can run the errands that will be your responsibility. Lisa your responsibility will be to keep the house clean after you do your homework. And Debbie since you're the best cook, you get to make the meals. I will get a cell phone so you can reach me any time. Any questions."Lisa looked at me with concern. "Even with what you make in your job how can we afford a new house? I mean they're like $100,000 dollars or more." Don't worry I have enough saved to make a very good down payment. Besides I have an idea how to make more." I replied.The next day I called Brenda (you.
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