"Ahem," someone said from behind me."Married," I said again, smiling as Wayne smiled obviously. They were watching some sporting event."Do you have to dress like that?" the voice said it was a woman's voice. "There are children here," she said.I sighed and slowly turned around to look at this bulbous woman standing in a one-piece with a towel as if she was hiding me from the world."Like what, exactly?" I said as I lowered my sunglasses."Like a whore," the lady said in barely a whisper."I prefer bimbo," I smiled back at her. "A whore would have worn pumps, or black, I am wearing silver," I said as I sat upright. "Also, I am far away from the kiddy pool and nearer to the deep side of the pool. Also I have not gone up to any of the other men or have I strutted along the poolside. I have just laid here, working on my tan."The lady shook her head as if I said nothing at all. "But if you want, I can get up and walk around the pool," I said as I motioned to stand."No," the lady said, shaking. She acts as if it doesn’t even matter. I wonder what she’d think if she knew the truth? If she knew that I was a sorry, defenseless failure who was just about to jump from the river bridge and end my life, when her car went over the rail.I wish I could talk to her. I feel like she could rescue me - from my life - not my death. But I could never put that problem on someone who’s just being grateful because I saved her and her daughters’ lives. At least I have that one thing that I can now fall back on. For once in my life I did something right and now this family thinks I’m a hero. Actually, I’m just a man who can’t even commit suicide without fucking it up.’Mallory opened her eyes and saw Marc looking at her with tears in his eyes, she began crying too as she watched him cry.“I fell asleep, Mallory. I’m sorry, I just drift in and out when they shoot me with the dope.”“I fell asleep too, Marc. It felt so good sitting here holding your hand, watching you sleep. At first you were.
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