.. this is different. I feel like I'm falling, endlessly falling.I crave him so bad. How did this happen? I need him so much. I feelawful. I can't eat, can't sleep. I cry. I can't think of anything elsebut him. I'm not sure what to do. God I'm a total wreck. Todd keepstelling me to chill. I'm trying. I'm really trying, but it's not easy. TV is no help. Last night I watch 'The Sopranos'. Perfect right? Mobshow, plenty of violence, just the thing to distract me. What do I see?I see the episode with Tony's Russian mistress freaking out aftergetting dumped. I can empathize with her now. First time I saw thisepisode, and I was all for Tony cutting her loose. Tonight, Tony's thepig and the poor girl deserves so much more. I feel her pain. Crazywomen are now making perfect sense to me.What am I going to do? The next few weeks are a bit of a blur. Todd stayed over most nights andbegan introducing me to the gay club scene. I was really nervous thatfirst night out but on the second ... The. "Since about the time Sally was riding me," said Rusty causing Joyce to turn even redder."I could have watched all day. It was as if there was a hazy cloud floating out here that I thought must be a love cloud. I've never seen four people share their love so effectively." And how many have you watched?" asked Terry smirking."I only needed to see the four of you to know perfection," replied Joyce sticking her tongue out at Terry."Children? They don't seem to have manners anymore and certainly no respect for their elders," responded Terry as she tried to keep a smile from ruining the glare she was attempting to perfect. The glare was barely noticeable before they were all roaring with laughter.When the laughter died down Joyce said, "Elders? I didn't realize you all were so ancient." I'll show you ancient," replied Sally as she quickly pulled Joyce down on the blanket and rolled over on top of her. Pushing down on Joyce's shoulders she raised up and saw the surprise on Joyce's face."How.
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