.We ended up asking the men to join us at the table. The one I'm interested in scoots next to me and we discuss the answer to the question. The music is loud, so he has to talk in my ear. He brushes my hair away and I feel his warm breath on my neck. I feel his knee touch mine, I keep mine there. About five minutes later we're talking with the rest of the group and I feel his hand on my thigh above my knee. Though no one at the table can see us below the table, they can all see my face, so I have no change in my expression. I can feel myself getting wet. I'm no longer paying attention to the quiz. I can't believe this is happening! I look down and see that his cock has grown in his jeans. I gently slide my hand up his thigh to let him know I'm interested. "You're so fucking hot", he says. I don't know how to reply to this, so I just smile. (What is the best reply to this, 'you too'?). When no one is paying attention he leans in and whispers "I want to fuck you in the bathroom". I look. I'll txt u outside.” My heart jumped, dropped but, instead of the solid wet thud of its immovable mass hitting reality, it kept falling… and dissipated.I glanced at the photo of Helen on the table: I knew nothing would ever be the same again, I'd want more. I already wanted more.My mind whirred: it was just for sex - I was straight - I loved women - I loved her! It was dangerous, it had only took a couple minutes to arrange - what kind of a guy says yes to meeting me for sex without asking for a photo or chatting? Who was I about to meet? Who was I going to share the most intimate moment of my life with? Who was going to mark me forever?No, I didn't want to do it - it was alien to me. What was I doing? All those years entirely captured by Kathryn's beauty, the years of adoration I'd shown Helen. My phone vibrated.I was outside, waiting shyly on the pavement; my cock hardening. A car pulled up, it’s indicator blinking fast. The warmth of the car hit me as I entered and I suddenly.
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