He told her he would pick her up at 6. She agreed giggling at his eagerness. At 6 o'clock when he pulled up in front of her house, he took a look in his mirror, and smiled knowing what he had in store for them that night. He went up to her house and knocked on the door. She answered; a stunning figure of grace and beauty that almost made him gasp. He gave her his arm, and walked her to the car. She asked where they were going, and he winked and asked her if she was hungry. She said yes as he started the car. He drove to a restaraunt he could barely afford, but he felt that she was definitely worth it. As they ate she tried to question him about the rest of the evening, but he just smiled and refused to answer. After supper, he took her to his older brother's apartment, several blocks away. His brother had given him a key to feed his fish while he was out of town. As they were climbing the stairs, he stopped and took her face in his hands, and looked into her eyes and asked her if she. This next hour before bedtime would be very tough, I needed to stay calm so I just launched a video game and tried not to think about anything else. There was a scantily-clad lady in the game and I almost said out loud ?Fuck you!? to her, or to it, whatever.Why do I have such hostility in me? In writing this journal – which I refuse to go back and edit because it shows my true feelings – I realize that I have typed the F-word more times than I have ever even thought about that word in my life. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a hostile bone in my body. I get a bit tense at times during stressful situations such as at work sometimes but most everyone does, I am calmer than most people by far!No sex for 10 days, big deal. It’s not as though I don’t have other things to do. I guess also 7 days of humiliation, that’s something else I have to put up with, and 7 days of not knowing what is the point of all of this. But I get the benefit of doing these things for the love of my.
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