But you persisted. When I was at the store or watching TV alone, I shift my gaze and suddenly see you there… and I always smiled. Even when my parents talked about how much you were going to destroy my life, I’d still smile. I knew it wasn’t true. You would have only made my life better. In the short time I did know you, you completely changed me. I could only imagine who I would have become had we been able to live the life we deserved. My grandma always said, ‘God gives us just enough — never too much and never too little.’ She was right. That short time I knew you was just long enough for me to know someone loved me. I think that was the thing that changed me most of all. Knowing that someone had unconditional love for me. And that was what made me finally able to let go and love myself. Sometimes at night I think about the night you died. I cry every time I remember the look on the nurses face, when I knew the end was near. She came in and pulled away the tubes. Then the doctor. Just as I was about to leave, satisfied we could be friends again she said ‘Tell me what kinky desires you have then that I cannot satisfy, tell me what I need to do to show you I can?’ I wasn’t about to go through every dirty thought I’ve had, every idea I was too reserved to share in previous relationships, and I told her so. She stood up, I could see the bottom of her buttocks peeking out of her PJ shorts, I was seriously turned on and starting to feel the effects of the wine. She came close so I could feel her breath and said ‘Tell me, share with me, maybe I’d like some fun too, maybe I’ll surprise you’. Well my mind was blown and my cock was pretty close as well. We sat down and I began to list some things, some of which I’ve always had in mind and others were just to shock her into submission, I could hear her getting turned on. I told her about wanting a 3-some, I told her I wanted to swing and have an orgy and as I went on she interrupted me ‘Slow down I’m not wonder woman,.
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