I didn't feel like a victim, I was justpissed off. I couldn't laugh at what others laughed at, even Seinfeldleft me cold. I watched TV news because it passed the time. When I feltenergized I sat at my home computer and wrote bad romance novels withHispanic characters. When I didn't have the energy for that I readSpanish romance novels I picked up at local drug stores. My only otherescape was spending time with Kate or Mike. I thought about them thatevening trying to decide if I should give one of them a call. If therewere ever two opposite people it was them and yet they were the onlytwo people I could bear to spend time with.Kate was the stereotypical sharp, observant New York lesbian with onefoot in the arts world and the other in structured giving arrangementsand estate planning. Mike seemed slow, almost mentally handicapped withhis hesitant speech and ponderous movements. He worked for AMTRAK andwas actually the owner of a whip smart mathematical brain. Once whenall three of us. "Of all my three boys, you had to be the smartass."They slipped into the Jersey City limits. Brendan swiveled his head left and right as he tried to recognize the landmarks of a decade ago."I thought Jersey City went upscale, Dad?" The waterfront went upscale. Go two blocks in from the shore and things go downhill quickly. Jersey City was always immigrant central. First the Irish, then the Italians and Jews, and now the Latinos and Liberians live here."Pawnshops and Check Cashing stores dotted the storefronts along with vacant lots. Goodwill had a thrift shop that Brendan marked for future reference. There was also a sign for a soup kitchen and a homeless shelter that he tried to convince himself wasn't an omen of things to come.He knew he could still slide down further. Things could get much worse. His teeth could rot right out of his mouth and his nails could turn yellow and peel away.A good snort of Canby-Meth and he would never worry about anything else again. He could make it.
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