I realized just then, with the knowledge of my decades-older current self that Ruth was not merely trying to get a reaction from me, or even be cruel. She was goading me into action. She wanted me to just grab her and kiss her instead of retreating inside my head like I used to do, wishing that she'd accept that I was her man. After all, I was who she spent her night with every night, even if we were miles apart and connected only by a copper telephone line.I decided for the moment to just savor the realism of this dream/memory and let it play out as it had, hoping my memory of events hadn't degraded too much over the decades. Perhaps, since this was just a dream, I could change the outcome, and in this way experience what might have been. I looked at Ruth again and deliberately began to undress her with my eyes, something I dared never let Ruth see in the past. I wanted to see what her reaction might be and to relish the opportunity to remember so clearly what she'd looked like in. I quickly covered myself in my sheets and after an awkward silence, she quickly walked in and closed the door. this isnt what it looks like! I quickly said, hoping she wouldnt tell on me. were you jacking off?! she said. No..i was&hellip, I stammered, trying to think of a logical excuse, but it was obvious she had caught me. Yes&hellip,okay?! I was. Just please dont tell my parents I begged. She lit up. She smiled and saw a window of opportunity. The look she had implied that she was going to blackmail me. So which of my friends were you jacking off to? she asked. uh&hellip, I stammered. I quickly thought of one of the cheerleaders names. Lizzie Lizzie? yeah, she looked hot today. I lied, trying to cover up the fact that I had been jacking off to the beautiful creature in front of me. Is that why you had a boner on the slide today? she asked. Shocked, I didnt know how to reply. &hellip,What? I started to act oblivious. You were poking me on the slide. Was I? Yeah, but Lizzie.
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