We still got a kick out of it though. And then Lawson said "Sure I'd fuck that ass as long as her face isn't bad. ask her if she wants to hook up"We laughed hysterically at that one, because Lawson is a very straight-laced preppy type but I'd always heard rumors that he was secretly a dog. It was just funny to see his thirstiness directed at the k** he always made fun of for being a loser. Something about the dynamic was very erotic to me; as a boy I was a 'loser' but slap some clothes and makeup on me and now this alpha male wants to fuck me? It made me feel like the masculinity I had been clutching was actually just holding me back. I felt like I had fallen so low through the male ranks that I passed through the margin and came out the other side as a desirable sexual object. Maybe this was how I should have been living all along? My whole life I'd been implanted with the idea that the worst thing a boy can be is 'girly' but now I was wondering if some boys aren't meant to be boys.. And then, for fear of miscarrying, by being seen together, I tore myself from him with a bleeding heart, and stole up softly to my room, where I found Phœbe still fast asleep, and hurrying off my few clothes, lay down by her, with a mixture of joy and anxiety, that may be easier conceived than expressed.The risks of Mrs. Brown’s discovering my purpose, of disappointments, misery, ruin, all vanished before this new-kindled flame. The seeing, the touching, the being, if but for a night, with this idol of my fond virgin heart, appeared to me a happiness above the purchase of my liberty or life. He might use me ill, let him: he was the master, happy, too happy, even to receive death at so dear a hand.Continued. to part 4-----------------Notes;1. During my visit to London for studies where we had an Old Ancestral Home, I stumbled on a family treasure. Apart from other things I also found a hump of books, diaries, and notes in the treasure which contained classic, Age-old, Erotic books,.
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