"I called the Myrtle Beach Pelicans," I told him. "Said it was a family matter, and asked where the Keys were staying. When I got the motel, a woman answered, and I said I wanted to talk to the cutest, sexiest ball player she had in residence." And she connected you to my room?" On only the fourth try, yes!" I said, thoroughly enjoying delivering my well-rehearsed punch line. "How's Eddie?" Eddie's good. He's down having a second shot at the Continental Breakfast here. It's better than most." Listen, Dave... You still haven't decided what to do about Eddie's enrollment in school, right?" Well. Bowie seems like the best bet." And when you go to Florida in February? What then?" I guess we'll, y'know, hire somebody in Bowie, to stay with him." Why not move to Arlington?" I said. "For the winter, and after that, too!" Arlington?" Yes! With me! With us -- Patsy, too! I could get a bigger place, maybe a detached house. And Eddie could go to school here, in Arlington! And I could give Patsy. You know that the idiot producers in Hollywood would obviously rather receive awards than make money...”“And... ?” Cathy prompted.“Well, it’s pretty simple. There’s research past counting that shows that the films that make the most money are G-rated family films.”“So... ?”“So, just look at the marquee at any multiplex. If it’s got ten screens, at least eight of them will have R-rated films, or worse ... Or whatever the R-rating is called now.” It appeared that poor Vangie was close to tears as she continued, “So what does that evil son-in-law of mine do? He makes G-rated films ... for no money! And then they just mint it. And that’s not even the worst of it, either,” Vangie continued to wail.“There’s more?” Cathy queried.“You better believe there’s more! And it’s your damned sister, this time.”“What did my favorite imp do this time?” Cathy asked. Then she grinned and added, “Mom, you must admit that Ken and I gave you and Dad a unique bridal shower gift. I mean ... How many couples.
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