”She closed her book shut with a snap.“What?why?”“Maybe because I felt hollow inside for fucking my boss while I had a baby on the way. Probably because I felt guilty for being such a bad husband.Maybe it’s because I felt disgusted with myself. Maybe it’s because I hate myself for hurting the person I love most.”She was shocked by my apology into silence.I took a deep breath and began.“I’m sorry for hurting you. I don’t know how to make it….”Slap.Her distance from me was perfect to slap me hard.She slapped me again harder. She slapped me again as she began to sob. She covered her face with her hands and her hair fell over her.I continued from where I stopped with my voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you all these days. If you will have me I promise to be your side from today. I have changed. I cannot live with myself anymore as I have hurt you so much. Forgive me.”After what seemed like an eternity, she leaned forward and hugged me and gently turned my face. She was wearing high heels!* * *And so, life was great. My wife was dressing up more, sex was great, andwe were totally in love.My friend Jack noticed the difference and complimented me. "Looks likeyou and Janice have really straightened things out and got it right!" hesaid. "I'm so happy for you!"But in fact, Jack didn't look that happy. In fact, he seemed ratherlonely and wistful. I made a point to include him more when Janice and Iwent out to dinner, and suggested to Janice that she might join him forlunch every now and then (their offices are just a few minutes apart).And so, life was perfect.But sitting there, in the back of my mind, was this thought -- burninginto my brain: 'Lady Janice of Sterling.'It kept going through my head, over and over, 'Lady Janice ofSterling,' 'Lady Janice of Sterling,' 'Lady Janice of Sterling...'If the drugs had worked as advertised, then all I would need to do isutter 'Lady Janice of Sterling' and Janice would begin to realize mylifelong fantasy:.
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