It is what I do for a living. It is what pays the bills." That my be Jake, but it is not what I signed on for. I signed up for a life with my husband Jake and not a life where my front door is a revolving door for my husband. You worked your job all these years and maybe made a trip twice a year and now it is every god damned week. And that isn't even the worst of it. Do you realize that on your last five trips you have told me when you would be back only to call me the day before I expected you home to tell me that you had to stay longer? Right now I am thanking God that I never let you talk me into quitting my job. At least it gives me something to do with my time. It keeps me from having to sit here in this house all alone all the time." I keep telling you it is going to get better honey. It won't be much longer." Well I've got a news flash for you Jake. It had better not be much longer because I've been offered a promotion. I've turned it down twice because it means that I would. * * *"Those bloody Yanks are loony," Boy George told his friend Alistair Appleton during their daily telephone chat."Really," Alistair replied. "We should have sunk the Mayflower and all those other boats. The Yanks are worse than the French." Actually Alistair, I am speaking of the baseball team. Listen to these headline stories from across the ocean. Some idiot in New York named Billy Crystal, that must be the name he uses in his transsexual routine, got his pecker stuck in an empty bottle of Piel's and had to go to the emergency room to get it removed. Now he has to take a pee sitting down. The story says he was watching a Yankees vs. Red Sox game when the incident occurred. Well, I'd get bored too." You know, Boy George, I can't believe anybody drinks that Piel's shit. I'd rather drink straight from the toilet. Give me a Guinness, mate!" That's only half the story. A few hours later this asshole is back at the hospital. This time an another empty bottle of Piel's was stuck up his.
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