I mean I'd spoken with Heather quite a lot, but our focus had been largely on emotional things. Here now, with Susan, the emotional stuff was there, but compounded enormously by the tangible, physical problems –the monetary problems, to put it bluntly. Her hormone therapy, for example, cost nearly as much every month as her rent did.Having said all that, I imagine someone might think Susan was just digging for gold, looking for someone to support her. But really, while we spoke I never got that impression from her at all. She wasn't trying to prostitute herself out in any way, nor was she expecting anything from me other than polite interest and understanding. Our conversation was nowhere near as deliberate and straightforward as I might have suggested. It was meandering and enjoyable and by the end of our dinner I was finding myself quite enamored of her and I think the feeling was mutual. I'd told her about my life, growing up, and about my experiences with former girl friends,. I was relieved as the car pulled into their home. Delores’ earnest conversation about how I could help make Jason whole again had unnerved me. She seemed a sweet young woman, and I’m sure she hadn’t meant to unsettle me, but that’s exactly what she’d achieved.With all of the family gathered around the big table, dinner passed quickly. Mainly because my mind was somewhere else, still unsettled by Delores’ conversation. I was actually a little angry with her. Before the conversation, I’d been looking forward to my call with Neil. But now I was preoccupied and I knew the call wouldn’t be as satisfying.At least, that’s what I expected. But I underestimated the power of love and longing. As soon as I saw Neil’s face, it was like I felt a warm balm spreading throughout my entire body. I’m normally the more talkative one, but he was very chatty and I was happy to just listen and look at his face. The face and the man, my cornerstone these last twenty years.After a while, he stopped and.
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