.. Even louder though, was the sound of a woman's giggling and moaning her pleasure. And there on the giant screen was Betty. The moans were hers and she and I both knew it. We looked at each other in abject horror. There was a huge censored banner over Betty's naughty bits but everyone in the building knew that she was naked. Betty and I both knew who the man in that picture would be when he was shown and she screamed and tried to run. The crush of the crowd trying to get closer to the stage held us in place though.Amanda looked at Betty and put her hand over her mouth in shock that her friend would allow herself to be filmed and shown in front of a crowd of strangers."I'm kickin' in the door as your breathing gets faster," sang Mikey on the stage. The audience was torn between watching the scandalous little scene on the screen and the band's performance."Your trail of clues is leading to disaster," sang Mikey. And I knew then that for my own good, for the future of my marriage and. ? Thenanother evening, I had the same symptoms of that night before.? That is when Nick checkmated me.? While I knelt over the bowl, my eyes blurredfrom the tears, and my throat too raw to cry, he crouched next to me, his handspulling back my now disgustingly matted hair.?He put his lips next to my ear to whisper the truth of my life duringthe past two months with him.? "Ah,Mara, you're undone now.? Your bodyneeds something, doesn't it?? Do youfeel an inescapable craving, a harrowing yearning for something?? Something- and you don't even knowwhat?" I wasin a fog, so wearied from all the retching, I couldn't think enough to realizeI didn't know what the hell he was talking about.? But the words he said clicked- I did _need_ something, butwhat?? I wasn't clear-headed enough towonder why- why did I feel this burning need, borne only of drug addiction,which I remembered well from my long-ago coke-stupored days.? In those moments so weak, I just knew Ineeded it, and it seemed Nick had it.
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