A few years later when I was a senior in high school my mom married to Ned. We moved into Ned's house. It was a modern house with the common rooms, living room, kitchen, and dining room, in the center and two wings on either side. One side was the master suit where mom and Ned had a bed and bath and the other side had two bedrooms and a bathroom. I shared the wing with Ned's daughter Chrissy. I was old for my grade and had just turned 18 early in my senior year. Chrissy was almost a year older than me but because she and Ned had spent a year in France, she repeated her Freshman year so was still in high school even though she was almost 19. One thing I had brought with me from our old life was my dad's collection of Playboy and Penthouse magazines that I had pinched when my parents broke up. I had been masturbating daily with the magazines for a couple of years and thought about girls constantly. I liked the Playboy magazines because the Bunnies usually had big tits and blond hair.. I wipe my hands and eyes then take a handful back to my seat and clean the crumbs from the table.Visit, stay, live. We've discussed it at length and, increasingly, I've thought of little else. I know I must make a decision. I can't keep putting it off, I—The door opens and another couple, drenched but smiling, move to the table opposite. A pretty blonde barista greets them with jokes about the weather and directs their attention to a coat stand near the door. She takes their order then clears the table while they busily hang up their saturated coats. The couple settle into seats opposite each other. They reach across the table, hold hands, and lean closer as they fall deep into conversation.I watch, distracted, my thoughts and problems temporarily shelved. I remember when we did that: talked, held hands. We've done it often, but the first time… that was special. We talked for hours, our hands never parting, and I watched your face, your expressions, your smile. I melted every time.
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