Thinking about something like that really gets me off. I guess it's what I must want. But I could never mention that to him, ask him if we could act out that fantasy. He'd just about faint, I know."She looked at me with an openness I hadn't seen before."I've never confessed this to a guy before, to anyone. There must be something about you that got me to reveal my secrets. Maybe it was all that hard screwing. I didn't get off, but don't think it didn't have an effect on me."Now I wondered what, if anything, was next."Just one more, okay?" she said, lighting up another cigarette, obviously nervous."Could you get into a scene like that?" she suddenly asked. "Do you think you could act out something like that with me?" You mean here? Now?" I asked."Sure, Amala is picking up Tochukwu and Somto both, so I don't have to be anywhere for hours." Uh-- yeah," I said, suddenly very turned on by all this. "I think could get into something like that." I see that," she said, smiling, taking hold. My first time had felt glorious; I’d thrust into her, moved in and out no more than two times, and erupted. Even so, she’d hugged me while she cried.The next day, however, she had decided that it had been a mistake; we had been a mistake. She’d gone off to school with a quite-final goodbye to me.Had I gone directly to the University, everything would have been different. Instead, as you know, I took two years in the junior college in Springfield. It is within driving distance of my home.If I had only gone directly to the University, we would have met. I would have seen that we were meant for each other, and I would have persuaded you. There would have been no Barbara and no Hank. We would have dated; I would have courted you rather than pressuring you. I would have waited until you were ready, because it would have meant your being as ready for me as I was ready for you.Then, when we were both ready, knowing that we were intended for each other, I would have found somewhere.
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