"We are both disappointed in the pair of you. We counselled you both to go slowly and to wait until you had your studies out the way and what did you do? Jump into bed at the first opportunity."I tried to comment but Ma held up a hand to stop me. "You'll get your chance; it's my turn."I did the only thing I could, I kept eating."I want to treat you as adults but I'm not sure you can behave that way. I want honest answers from you. Roger -- have you and Anna had sex yet?"Doug seemed ready to pummel me regardless of how I answered but Ma must have told him, in her own way, to just sit down, shut up, and let her handle things.I looked her straight in the eye. "Last night, no; previously, yes."Doug stirred."Why not last night?" Quite honestly, we had both had a long day and were tired. We intended only cuddling but fell asleep." And if you continue staying here, you two would go on having sex regardless of our feelings I suppose?"Anna picked up on the "if you continue". I put my hand over. You taught me how to love. If it wasn't for you, I'd never have been able to be with Larry." "I'm glad you're happy, Carol. But who's ever going to teach me?" "Someone will, Charlie. You just have to keep looking." He let her off the hook again. "I am." It was nice when she showed that she cared: but in the end, he found that it didn't matter much. When he hung up, she was still gone. He did look. He slept with more than several girls; it was the early 70s, after the Pill and before herpes and AIDS. Sexual freedom was a very real thing, and he got his share of pussy; but in his heart there was still a big empty space shaped like a girl named Carol.He masturbated often, to magazines and fantasies; he began to smoke marijuana, because it made the pictures seem real and enhanced the fantasies. But he avoiding masturbating to his memories of her. They were still the most moving and exciting thoughts he had, but sometimes he came crying, and cried for hours afterward. His dearest.
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