Picked him up in a night club. He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement... ! That’s when I thought “Wait a f’ing minute...”In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits...”I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”“No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my bits and you know what that means don’t you?”I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir. "Come to me, my darling! I'd get up, but my hands are chained." Bela looked at her husband in confusion, her tears of joy choked back in waiting. "I'm chained to the wall. Do you have a key for these also?" Yes," came a voice. The voice had come from Illian's mouth, but it was not his voice. It was flat, strained."Oh, I'm so happy to see you! I love you so much! Why don't you come to me? Why do you just stand there?"A moment of silence passed. "Why..." Bela breathed again."I have to wash you," said the voice. The face behind the voice was familiar, but the eyes were foreign."I know I'm not very clean... but can't that wait? Can't we get out of here first? Can't we go find the boys and get out of this place?" The boys are fine." Then why are we waiting here?"Again, the silence. At last, the voice said, "I have to wash you." Illian walked forward, his sandals echoing off the stone floor. As the voice he used was not his own, neither was the blank expression on his face. The.
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