Staring out the windowI found myself starting to think about them, in terms I'd neverdreamed of. Time seemed to stand still and I found myselfdesiring them. The urges came rushing across me and I thought ofDenise and Victoria sitting out in their car laughinghysterically. I vacillated back and forth. One part of me wantedto shut this out and return to my former life, yet a large partwanted to proceed with these desires. I was pulled back andforth. What I wanted and what I felt was right, were at odds,and it was becoming increasingly apparent that what I wanted wasgoing to win out.I now worried that they may be finishing their drinks before Imade a decision. I glanced quickly at the bar to see how theywere faring. Steve caught my glance and we made eye contact. Icould tell that he made a recognition but couldn't place me,dressed as I was. It was now the point of no return as I roseand started across the room towards 6 desiring eyes. "Hi boysmind if I play along?" I asked teasingly. I purged and disposed of my things in cycles that occurred several times only lead back to acquiring new things at great cost.Mid-way through the next summer, while I was struggling to pass summer school and make up for failed classes, Mr. Carlton was visited by the Sheriff’s department and a week later I was told that he was arrested in the morning just after the school bus drove off. A week later my mom and dad sat me down with me and asked I had been in any contact with the estranged and now arrested Mr. Carlton. Without a beat and in what must have been a convincing enough manner I lied and said no, and that I barely knew him. This was an era before digital media, so I had no pictures or recordings to worry about and nothing ever became of the relationship. Later I learned that he had been accused by actual son, now an adult, along with his step daughter, his step son, and his second wife of, well, you know what, and he was locked up for a while.I secretly played by myself.
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