I started thinking about how we used him in our fantasy. So, yes, he touched me. I was getting a little turned on thinking about what you and I do and it started to go too far with Jim. I pushed his hand away when I realized he was fingering me. I was still drinking and you were getting drunk too. One time when Jim came back to me in the water we were joking about having sex. I laughed and told him about our sexual fantasy." You what? You told him that you used his name in our lovemaking? How stupid could you get? Why would you tell him such a thing?"Again, I realized I was the one who started it. I was only reaping what I sowed. I knew I was blaming her when half the guilt was mine. I guess I was trying to deny my guilt and face the truth. But still, I didn't think it was something she should have shared."It just came out. He laughed and started in touching me again. It felt good. You had disappeared, I looked up for you but you weren't there. I was getting turned on thinking about. Truth be told, part of me wanted that. But I knew also that I was nowhere near ready for that. I’d seen girls get hurt badly on ‘rebound’ relationships, and that was the last thing I needed. Of course, if I was honest, Joyce was a rebound for me. I hoped she and I really did agree about the nature of our relationship. I didn’t see any signs that it wasn’t true, but now that we had been together, things might change. I’d have to be on the lookout.Wednesday night, I called Mary and let her know her I wasn’t going to see her the next day. She was disappointed and tried to talk me into it, but I told her that I just wasn’t in the mood for it. I chuckled when she gave me her ‘Oh poo!’ reply. I also pointed out again that she was with Ben. She reminded me he was OK with it and I said I understood, but I preferred not to take the risk of messing things up for them. I didn’t tell her that it was too close to the whole Pete/Melanie situation for my comfort. Mary made me promise to call her. I.
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