My heart was on fire, every bit of breath getting caught in my throat.“I wanted to know for sure, so the next day, when you were at school, I...” I threw my arms up in resignation. Couldn’t get much lower than here. “I went through your stuff. Your computer, your internet history. I found a bunch of porn stories. It ... they gave me hope. Like maybe you read a particularly crazy one and wanted to conduct your own scenarios or something.”“Aaron, what the fuck...” Molly couldn’t muster the strength to do anything more than mutter those words, her hands now clutching at her chest and neck.I couldn’t even look at her anymore. I couldn’t let her stop me. “So then there was this girl, this girl I was fucking, named Holly.” I paused. “Oh yeah, I have a lot of casual sex too. Yet another fucking thing I was hiding from you. Sue me.” At this point, using humor to detach myself from the situation was the only way I was getting through this. “Holly was, uh ... she’s kinda fucked. She learned I. The jury convicted them after only an hour of deliberation.At the sentencing the judge asked me if I wanted to make a statement. I said that I did. I looked right at the ring leader of my attackers. I said, “Do you remember what you said to me when you attacked me? Well sometime during your sentence a man who is bigger and stronger than you is going to want to rape you. He undoubtedly will say the same thing to you that you did to me. I hope when that happens, your statement, “You are going to get raped, so you might as well relax and enjoy it.” is on your mind.”Spring finally started to loosen winter’s grip on the land. We waited until the grass was tall enough, and then moved the steers to the west pasture. It was resting last year, and the far pasture would rest this year.We kept the heifers close to the house, so we could help them if they had trouble calving, and so we could protect the calves from wolves and grizzlies.Dad didn’t like makeup, so shaving my pubic hair was about.
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