I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."The Doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleagues and see if there's anything they can do for them."The Businessman replied, "I think I'll donate £350,000 to the Fire Brigade Benevolent Fund in honour of these brave souls."And the Scotsman said,"Why kin they no play at night?These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.ADULT:A person who has stopped growing at both endsAnd is now growing in the middle.****BEAUTY PARLOR:A place where women curl up and dye.****CHICKENS:*The only animals you eat before they are born and after theyare dead.****COMMITTEE:A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.****DUST:Mud with the juice squeezed out.****EGOTIST:Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.****HANDKERCHIEF:Cold Storage.****INFLATION:Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.MOSQUITO:An insect that makes you like flies better.****RAISIN:A grape with a sunburn.****SECRET:Something you tell to. By my reckoning I was a good five minute walk from home "You're actually chucking me out....for farting?" It fuckin' reeks in here" he complained "Go on, hop it" But it's Christmas" I protested weakly "C'mon where's your Christmas spirit you old Scrooge?" If I didn't have to pay maintenance to my bitch ex wife and my son, I wouldn't be driving dirty fat chubbas like you home," he snapped angrily "I'd be drinking Christmas spirit down the pub with my mates. Now will you get out?!" Fine" I snapped back, pushing at the door and - I have to confess - feeling very grateful for the cold fresh air that immediately greeted me. I wasn't however feeling grateful or pleased about the snow that was falling, I was going to get soaked.I waddled up to the driver's side door and huffed as I brought down the window "How much do I owe you then?"As he glanced back at the meter, I spun around and brought myself up on my tiptoes. His head was just turning back to find himself confronted by my broad ripe.
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