You'll notice that the bed is empty. I have dreams the bed isn't empty. I don't know what to do about it. Any suggestions?" My Dear Beautiful and Surprising Natana, I nearly hurt myself jerking my head around when I read your last e-mail. Any suggestions you asked? Oh yes. Many. How I wish I could make them come true." Dear Stubborn Secret Admirer, What's a girl got to do? You won't tell me where you are so I can't come drag you. I've tried subtle invitations. Please, don't make me be a bad girl and beg. It is unseemly for a woman to beg."I looked at that e-mail for the longest time. I was still certain that if she saw me first we'd never get past that. But maybe if we were lovers first... That's stupid, I thought. What are you going to do? Wear a bag over your head?I was still looking at that e-mail when a wild idea popped into my head. It's crazy! Maybe, just crazy enough. So I sat down and wrote a story about a man and woman. The man was too shy to meet the lady face to face. But. They were also spilling rather a lot of it down their shirts. They shoved past a dawdling huddle of shoppers and made a bee-line towards George who was chatting to a woman who looked a bit like an owl in her horn-rimmed spectacles. ‘Is there any truth in it, Mr Timpson?’ she was saying, earnestly. ‘Any truth in what?’ George replied. ‘You know… What you’ve said on your board… about the world ending?’ ‘Don’t you worry, my dear,’ said George. ‘I can see you’ve got a nice little guardian angel perched on your shoulder, so I think you’ll be okay.’ ‘Oh, how lovely!’ The lady chuckled and kind of fluttered away in the direction of a sweet shop. ‘Look at that silly so-and-so,’ said Sammy. ‘You’d think he’d have something better to do than scaring the crap out of people.’ ‘Yeah,’ said Django. ‘What is this ‘The End is Nigh’ cobblers? Let’s sort it.’ Sammy came up behind George. The wording on the reverse side of the board read: ‘PREPARE TO MEET THY MAKER’. The muscular youth sneered.
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