Hugs Princess)I turn around to look at the big mirror that is over the sink and all Ican see real fast was the yellow puffy sleeves and then the top of thesink. I hate being so small as we leave the ladies room. I am smiling, Iam so happy not wearing the pink girly hospital gown and then I see afull mirror from floor to ceiling and I see the reflection of mommyholding a little girl wearing a short yellow dress with girly shoes.Than it hits me. "Mommy I am wearing a dress." Yes you are sweetie and you look so pretty. You have a choice, you canact like a little girl wearing a pretty dress, or you can act like alittle boy wearing a pretty dress and people will probably tease you ifthey know you're a boy in a dress sweetie."I don't know what to say, I feel momma pulling me outside. I feel thewarm summer breeze blowing up my short dress. "Oh she looks so cute, Iknew that dress would fit your daughter perfectly." Momma and I bothturn and see that women and her baby daughter getting out of. My dad always gave my brother everything hewanted, but because my mom could not work due to a sickness I got next tonothing because she would have to go through my father to get money and hewould say no. Needless to say I grew up yearning for a "father figure" thatwas worth respect. At a young age I began looking at men more than just "guys" as earlyas the age of 8 I remember looking at men in pools trying to see theircocks through their bathing suits etc. Around that same time me and anolder friend who at the time was around 11 started to "experiment". Weplayed with one another's cocks sucked one another off not reallyunderstanding the enjoyment that was to come. It was not until the summer before High school that I really begin tounderstand what "sex" was. I lost my virginity to a girlfriend when I was14, during that summer, it just did not do it for me. I still found myselfdreaming of sexual acts with older men, like my fathers age, trying to fillthat void I felt due to.
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