."Hello, Jean?" I was on the phone to my wife."Darling?" She sounded almost as if she'd expected to hear from me. "Oh,I hope you won't be working late again today -- You tell that old Billhe's a big meanie!" She says to tell you you're a big meanie," I hissed at him. "And youare!" Well, I hardly think so." He spoke loud enough for her to hear. "I meanyou came over here in those awful clothes, and I gave you something thatshows off the real You!" Ooo!" Jean chimed in. "Did he dress you up again? Tell-me-tell-me!!" Better yet." Bill took the smartphone from my lacquered fingertips,"I'll show you!"He pressed a button, sending my image across the ether to my laughingwife. It showed me standing in his office wearing red-sequined highheels, matching G-string and mini-tutu, and red-sparkle pasties on mynipples! He had made me re-do my makeup into a bolder, brassier style,and my longish blonde hair was now crowned with a wildly-curled auburnwig -- I looked like a wanton stripper!Jean's. "I don't stick my dick into women who fuck around."She slowly walked past me. "When you come to your senses, you know where to call me," she said."When you come to yours, we'll already be divorced," I told her.It was too late for me to call a lawyer, so I did the next best thing. I started drinking. It must've been three hours later when the phone rang. I wasn't completely drunk but I was on the way."Mark, what the hell is wrong with you?" said the caller. "This isn't like you at all. You're the nicest guy I know. Normally, I'm the one who usually thinks that you're spoiling my sister. I've always thought you were killing her with kindness and..." That's been my problem all the time," I said. "I've been using the wrong tool. Instead of killing her with kindness, I should have been using a baseball bat..." Mark, are you drunk?" asked Ella, Stella's sister."Ella, I've been drinking," I said. "But I'm not drunk. I think that it's the appropriate reaction to being told by the women.
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